But I'm at a Crossroads (well, I moved to Costa). I've got to start deciding, so I can start living. The first decision I have to make is where do I go after college? Do I:
1) Move back home.I suppose not all of the options are mutually exclusive, but I'm a single-minded, tunnel-vision kind of guy. I never graduated the Circus because I couldn't juggle.
2)a) Apply to grad school.
b)Apply to seminary.
3)a) Go on missions.
b) Travel the world.
4)a) Look for work.
b) Spend time off, but work on various personal projects: write a book, learn a language, read, study on my own, research, freelance, soul search, etc.
The problem is that I want to do them all. Yet there's only one of me, and I can only be at one place at one time (or one place at many times, but never many places at one time, depending on your take on physics). The point is to be efficient, and use my time wisely before I've run out. The shadow of the future, or the end of the game, is uncertain.
I could live as if I had all the time in the world, but I would do nothing. Or I could live as if I were going to die tomorrow, but I'd run out of things to do by Wednesday (only because I spend Tuesdays with Morrie). Anyhow, my good friend John Nash would say to find some sort of equilibrium. Every situation has one.
I suppose the goal is to find the point where I do everything I can do while I can do it, including preparing for things I can't do yet, but wish to do later. The problem lies in the uncertainty of the future: what do I wish now to do later that I won't wish later to do now?
Oh, if I only knew what to do.